As long as I can remember I had difficulties with my pelvic space - bladder infections, yeast, pain, BV, you name it.
It started with chronic UTIs in college - ones that would be so painful I’d end up in the ER - and for years doctors told me, indifferently, that I was resigned to a life of preventative antibiotics because “this is just the way your body is”.
Something inside my body felt this just wasn’t right.
It all culminated one night in December 2020 while on vacation with my Mom in Colombia.
The familiar burning sensation in my bladder woke me up at 3 am with dread. Oh no. Could it be… again?? But I had been doing everything right!?
I crawled myself to the bathroom, trying to find some relief. After I emptied what I could, I slumped down onto the stone cold floor. As I writhed in agony, my mind raced with thoughts and fears -
What was happening in my body? What caused this? Would I have to be with this pain for the rest of my life? With each desperate question my body contracted with more pain.
Half naked in the pitch black darkness, with my mom fast asleep on the other side of the wall…
I pleaded to God, “Please, make it stop.”
“I don’t want to have to keep going through this. Why is this happening to me??”
A voice within told me, “Go into the pain.”
This was something I had never dared to do. I had always been trying to avoid the pain. But now, it seemed my options were either to continue to be tortured by the sensations or try to do something about it.
Alone in that hotel bathroom, there was no one else but myself. All the clinics and pharmacies were closed. There was nothing I could turn to outside of myself to find relief.
So, I decided to go within and find my own way out.
I squatted with my back against the wall, closed my eyes and started to focus on the sensation of the pain. At first I was terrified. What if I made it worse?
Then I let my body show me what felt natural to start to relieve the tension and pain. With each long, slow breath I could feel the muscles of my pelvic floor releasing. I focused on gently contracting and relaxing these muscles even more. I imagined the spasms dissipating and the pain being released out of me. I felt the fear dissolve and my whole body softened even more. I slowly brought myself back down onto the floor and realized with a flood of relief - all of my pain was gone.
I had just found the answer to my pain that I had been seeking for so many years. It wasn’t found in a doctor’s office or through another prescription. It was found by going deeper into myself.
From then on I started to take my pelvic wellbeing into my own hands… quite literally.
I began to do my own self bodywork and internal massage, and eventually trained in Integrative Pelvic Health, which equipped me with a deeper understanding of my pelvic space and specific exercises I could do myself to bring healing, release and rejuvenation to the area.
After years of believing I would be forever dependent on the medical system and that something about my body was inherently broken…
I reclaimed my power to heal myself, realized that all the answers were already inside of my body, and that I had actually been whole all along.
The more I came back home within my pelvis, I started to see that healing painful symptoms was just the beginning of it all.
I began to walk differently, feeling more rooted in my body and in my womb space, feeling more ease and flow as I moved through my day.
I started to receive huge creative downloads that gave me insights about my big life questions and left me bursting with inspiration to pour into my work.
People started telling me I was glowing.
I started feeling so much for sure of myself - using my voice clearly without fear and feeling confidently embodied in my authentic expression.
I started to give myself permission to welcome back all the parts of me that I had suppressed over the years.
Through connecting with my womb, I started to reclaim each one of the elements of me that I had once felt ashamed about…
My menstrual blood
My pleasure and my sensuality
My wildness
My bold self-expression that begged to take up more space
My body as (w)holy mine… not for anyone else
As I went deeper into sacred, side-by-side relationship with my body, I watched as my womb and entire life transformed before my very eyes - more aliveness, joy, mind-blowing satisfaction and connection. And now I feel more powerful than ever, because I have a deeply rooted trust within myself… knowing that no matter what pain or challenge may come my way, I can always walk myself through it.
What is Integrative Pelvic Health?
This is one of the modalities that I am trained in and forms the basis of how we work with the pelvis in my 1:1 containers. It offers a pathway into deepening our understanding of and relationship to our bodies and ourselves — through a variety of practices that support in connecting with physical structures in the body, especially the pelvis, and awakening new sensation and experiences there, as well as connecting with our inner world and emotional selves - bringing a sense of deep healing, empowerment from within and an awakening of new parts of self.
IPH differs from other modalities that may focus on womb healing or connecting with the pelvis in a couple of ways.
Some modalities may focus on stretching the pelvic area, such as hip-openers in yoga, but these mainly target the outside areas of the pelvis and hips. With IPH and the work I do, we actually focus directly within the pelvic space - working with the bones and the different layers of the pelvic floor. This approach is what brings now only so much healing to the pelvic space, because we are increasing circulation and life force energy, but it also entirely opens up our somatic awareness of the space.
The unique element about this modality is that it addresses the pelvis in a physical way, through the exercises, as well as the emotional, energetic and spiritual components associated with our pelvis and womb. One way we access this in the sessions is through a Guided Shamanic Womb Journey — where you are guided to become deeply relaxed and are taken on an inner journey in a kind of lucid dream-like state. This brings you into connection with your subconscious mind, allowing you to release things that are no longer serving, tap into your inner wisdom and creativity, and shift things within your inner emotional world that ripple out into your waking life. They can offer deep healing on an emotional level that sometimes we didn’t even realize that we needed.
We are taught to live and experience the world and ourselves from the outside in.
We look for answers, direction or validation from the outside before truly giving that to ourselves first.
We look to other people, systems or perceived authorities to tell us how to –
give birth, be with and move our bodies, achieve health, cultivate wealth, build our businesses, be productive or thrive in life.
We look to other people, systems or perceived authorities to tell us to give a sense of safety, trust or belonging.
But as long as we are starting with the outside first, depending on those things to tell us the way, or running how we show up through a criteria of shoulds that comes from the outside…
We will never truly be free.
When we decide to source all of this for ourselves, from within first, that is when we set ourselves free.
We are rewiring the whole process to be inside out.
Authority within. Wisdom within.
Power within. Answers within.
Safety within. Trust within.
Because you are the only one that can set yourself free.