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What is the Dark Feminine and how can you connect with her?

Dark. Sensual. Earthly. Deep feels. Turned on by life. Fully here in this human experience.

What do these words conjure up for you?

This is the Dark Feminine to me.

This weekend I went on a retreat in the mountains with five other women to gather in ceremony and ritual that centered around themes of the Dark Feminine.

We hike and bathed in a beautiful waterfall, moved our bodies intuitively (aka: not dancing for it to look good, but rather following however your body wants to move), and did lots of journaling and sharing in sacred circle with one another.

All of these activities centered around connecting with our inner Dark Feminine.

I want to share with you what I learned from my experience on the retreat to encourage you to connect with your Dark Feminine, as well.


What is the Dark Feminine?

You can think about it like an aspect of yourself - that lives within all people, not just those who identify as women or female.

There are many characters and goddesses in myths and stories from diverse backgrounds that speak to the experience of Dark Feminine, such as Persephone, Lillith, Kali, and Inanna, just to name a few. If you are interested in these themes, I encourage you to read more about these goddesses and characters in myths and stories!

These portrayals of the Dark Feminine through stories and myth help us understand how to connect with her in our day-to-day lives.

A few aspects of the Dark Feminine:

  • In touch with herself, her body, her emotions, and the Earth

  • Knows that she is a soul having an experience in a human body, and therefore takes full advantage to feel everything that pulses through her body in the form of her senses.

  • Understands that sensation and feeling are signs and tools to more deeply connect with herself and her experiences - she welcomes all kinds, both challenging and pleasurable.

  • Embraces being in the grit and challenges of day-to-day life here on Earth, but does not lose herself in all of it. She sees beauty in darkness and draws her power from it.

  • Does not try to transcend experiences and be above anything that is happening in the moment. She understands that the only way out is through. She lets emotions flow through her without getting stuck.

  • Turned on by life. She is a sexual being and owns it - she does not apologize for her own pleasure or desires. It extends beyond sex, too... In all aspects of life she is so tuned into the things, people, and experiences around her, as well as to her own body, that she can’t help but feel it all. She is turned on in the sense that all of her is on line and can’t help but tingle with the excitement of being so connected.

  • Does not take sh*t. When her boundaries are crossed or she feels disrespected, she knows it in the moment, and responds firmly and with love. She does not react out of rage but rather channels that anger and feeling of disrespect into firmly standing her ground, always doing so in the service of love for herself and others.

Pretty powerful, right?

If reading this feels like it helps you to better understand different aspects of yourself or like you want to cultivate more elements like this into your life, keep reading...

How to connect with your inner Dark Feminine:

  • Move your body! And not in a way that you think you “should”, or for it to “look good.” Put on music until your body begins to move itself. Allow the move to originate from deep within your cells, not from your head telling your body how to move.

  • Take deep breaths that fill up your belly completely. Release the areas that feel tense. Allow your jaw to relax - it is directly connected to the muscles in the pelvic floor.

  • Feel your feet firmly planted on the ground underneath you. Even better if you can be barefoot standing directly on the Earth. Feel your feet and legs as your roots to Earth and to your Self.

  • Put yourself in the way of nature - let her humble you, reconnect you to your Truths, remind you that her cycles and your cycles are one, and rejuvenate you with her limitless life force energy.

Which one of these will you do today?

From my Dark Feminine to yours,

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